During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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