mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
