you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
