dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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