You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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