you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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