i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
