i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize