Moan for me like Helen Keller
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
