Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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