I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
vagina is talking i cant
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
