I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
