You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize