I accidentally had phone sex last night
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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