There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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