Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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