My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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