____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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