I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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