You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
