my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize