Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
