Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
