you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
