He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
