I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
