You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
