yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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