Your tits are I can't wait for
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
