I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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