My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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