You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i out mim tonsoeep
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