By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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