if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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