I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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