I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
false alarm, still single
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