We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
