But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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