Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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