you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
