It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
