youre lurking in front of me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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