Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
