Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
