You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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