Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
