But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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