If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
