Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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