I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
