I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
