Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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