is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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