Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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