I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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