so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
