Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
