week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
MIDGETS
????
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
