Don't make out with my wife yet
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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