so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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