still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
