You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My brain says no but my pants say off.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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