john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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