Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's never too late to be topless.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
