Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
