the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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