piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
