I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize